


Hawke's Public Service Announcement

by asrundream



Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: Breaking the Fourth Wall, Crack, Presents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-05
Updated: 2015-08-05
Packaged: 2018-04-13 02:45:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4504668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asrundream/pseuds/asrundream
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hawke has a PSA for everyone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hawke's Public Service Announcement

**Author's Note:**

> I was sad about fanfiction, and it was late at night, and I was tired, and this bullshit happened, and I'm not sorry.
> 
> Every day is a new chance to write the stupidest thing you've ever written. Today, I seized that chance.
> 
> Super sorry if you're subscribed to me and got an email about this garbage ~~but it's okay because nobody would be mad enough to subscribe to me~~.

Anders grinned as Hawke handed him a large box.

“What’s this, love?”

“A present.”

He took the box, then nearly dropped it as it shook.

“Holy-”

“Don’t drop it!”

He set the box down very gently and lifted the lid. Inside was a kitten, sitting next to a smaller box.

“Hawke, what-”

“Open the little one.”

“But, a kitten-”

“The little box!”

He did so, revealing a particularly naughty-looking device and an even smaller box.

“Is this a b-”

“The next box!”

“Hawke, what the fuck?”

“Open it.”

The box contained a purchase order for an entire case of kiwis, Anders’ favorite fruit, and another goddamn box.

“Let me guess, open it?”

“Yep.”

A gold ring on a velvet cushion.

“Hawke-”

“You deserve nice things.”

“But this is-”

Hawke turned and looked at the screen.

“And you motherfuckers better remember it.”

“What the fuck are you-”

Hawke stared pointedly at the reader.

“Seriously. Fucking cut it out.”

Anders had no idea what was going on.


End file.
